


The Spark In His Soul

by CaptainAmericasBitch



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers Feels, Canon Related, Captain America Steve Rogers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gods, Happy Ending, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers-centric, M/M, Minor Peggy Carter, Not Canon Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Old Gods, One Shot, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Prompt Fic, Random & Short, Slice of Life, Soul Bond, Souls, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Suicide Attempt, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, World War II, minor avengers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24335386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAmericasBitch/pseuds/CaptainAmericasBitch
Summary: Nobody knew what had guided gods when they decided to create humans like that, but it was a piece of common knowledge that from the dawn of time every time you fell in love, you lost a part of your soul to the person you loved. Every time someone fell in love with you, you got a piece of their soul and once you run out of the soul to give, you died.Steven Grant Rogers always knew his place was in the unlucky group. Born and raised against all odds only by his hard-working mother, being loved by only her had made him a constitutionally weak person. He knew he was never going to make it for a long time in this world.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	The Spark In His Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> So I finally decided to post this little fic, I wrote few months ago during my winter exam session after seeing a prompt somewhere and deciding writing is way better than studying ;)  
> I hope you're gonna enjoy this!

> _“Our souls speak a language that is beyond human understanding. A connection so rare the universe won't let us part.”_
> 
> _“He stirred my soul in the most subtle way and the story between us wrote itself.”_
> 
> _~Nikki Rowe_

Nobody knew what had guided gods when they decided to create humans like that, but it was a piece of common knowledge that from the dawn of time every time you fell in love, you lost a part of your soul to the person you loved. Every time someone fell in love with you, you got a piece of their soul and once you run out of the soul to give, you died. 

Everyone could easily differentiate those truly loved ones from the ones, who lacked this life-giving emotion. The first group was always thriving, getting jealous glances from the rest, being in good health, and enjoying prosperity. The second one wasn’t so lucky. Those were always sick, poor and tired, trying to just survive another day. You could see the misery and struggle on their haggard faces. 

Steven Grant Rogers always knew his place was in the unlucky group. Born and raised against all odds only by his hard-working mother, being loved by only her had made him a constitutionally weak person. As a little child he couldn’t have had quite understand why the world worked like that, but he quickly got a good hold of it. Meeting first peers on Brooklyn streets, being called names for just having his mother’s love opened his eyes. He was never going to make it for a long time in this world. 

~~ 

Steve was used to being on his own and struggling with his never-ending list of health issues. His persistent character had persuaded his mother to let him go to school, despite her doubts and fears. But he was a stubborn child, a child tired of sickness and their one-room apartment in Brooklyn. He desperately needed something more. 

So here he was, months into his first year of school, sitting alone at the edge of their school field, watching the other healthier children playing with each other and sketching some of them with his tiny piece of graphite, he had found wandering through school corridors before. 

Sitting and glancing at people was apparently enough to catch attention from some older guys, who didn't like the scrawny kid on their territory. 

‘Can’t play a ball, so you have to draw like a girl, Rogers?’ one of the guys shouted from the distance. 

‘Nobody loves a piece of trash, so he got to stuck with all garbage he can find’, the second boy appeared and kicked Steve’s hand hard enough that tiny lead dropped to the ground, broke into numerous particles and Steve’s wrist spun unnaturally ‘what did you expect from rubbish, Mickey?’. 

Steve didn’t even get time to react, but suddenly he was surrounded by the whole group and another kicks came. He tried to get up, to simply try to pay them back, but he didn’t stand a chance. He tried to push them back, he tried to kick them, hurt them, just as they’d been hurting him, but all he could feel was hit after hit, push after push, name after name, coming from his bullies. 

‘You sure know how to fight fairly, eight against one, your dads would be so proud!’ Loud voice slashed throughout the group. Some of his aggressors stopped and turned their heads to see another boy standing behind. ‘You wanna get the teachers here? Or will you let him live?’ 

‘Saint Barnes wanna take this trash under his wings guys!’ gangly, the ginger boy laughed and the rest of the gang applauded. 

‘I’ll make sure that your parents know about your hobbies, Pete if you don’t let him go’ said the brunette boy. It was clear he was coming from a good, big loving family, strength and positivity just vibing from him. The power in his voice was also undeniable. He might have been young, but the boys were way weaker, than this mysterious guy. 

‘Buzz off Barnes!’ 

‘Yeah, get away!’ 

‘I said let him go or there will be consequences’ boy once again spoke up and this time Steve’sbullies realized they got no chance over him. No matter the number of them, they couldn’t just attack someone stronger. It would have been pretty futile, they might some kicks at Barnes boy, but there would be a price to pay afterward. So they slowly let go of Steve and left the two of them, throwing sharp glances at Barnes while going back to the other side of the field. 

Barnes’ boy sighed and crouched next to Steve. ‘You okay?’ 

Steve nodded with slow head movement. ‘Yeah, but I had them on the ropes!’ 

‘You surely did, pal’ brunette grinned and stretched his hand toward the blonde. ‘I’m Bucky.’ 

‘Steve’ he took Bucky’s hand and shook it. Hard. 

‘Well, it looks like you just got yourself a friend, Stevie.’ 

It seemed impossible, but Bucky smiled even wider and Steve slowly let himself bend his lips into a shy smile. He looked into brunette’s eyes and felt a bit of warmth going straight into his heart. It felt like hope... 

~~ 

He was on the staircase in some dark alleys on the back of his building, stuck between the metal railing and Bucky’s warm body. They shared a cheap wine bottle, which Bucky got from some dockworkers or so that was his story. They watched fireworks earlier, Bucky’s, as always, saying America's celebrating his birthday. A few years earlier he had believed into that, now, at sixteen, he just kicked his friend teasingly into the ankle. 

‘You know, I’m too old to believe you, jerk.’ 

‘Stevie, but they should be celebrating you!’ 

Bucky was quite tipsy on their tipple, lowering his head onto Steve’s shoulder. When blonde turned his head a bit, he was looking straight into those beautiful sky-blue eyes. 

‘You deserve to be celebrated, Stevie...’ Bucky whispered and his eyes fell for a second on Steve’slips. 

And it was so wrong, the feeling that exploded in Steve’s chest, the warmth that felt so good, the hunger to just lean a bit closer, to kiss those pink lips next to his. He couldn’t resist and his hand softly found a way to Bucky’s cheek, gently stroking it. Both boys were still gazing into each other’s eyes, but it was not enough, it could never be enough for them. 

‘Steve, please...’ and that was all it took to close the tiny gap between them, their lips finally finding themselves, falling into a gentle rhythm together. 

Their kiss was chaste, their lips slowly pressing together. It could have lasted seconds or minutes or hours and neither of them could tell which one was the truth. When they split, the disbelief and happiness were visible in their eyes and their mouths instantly found a way back to each other. The second kiss was ruthless, all innocence lost. 

It was fire and pure emotion, it was everything they ever wanted but never before had dared to dream of. Their tongues met, a little ungracefully dancing together and their hands wandered everywhere they could reach, trying to get closer, closer and closer. The distance between them was non-existing but it was not enough. They kissed as it was the last thing they would do in their lives and when they stopped to breathe, huge smiles on their faces, they both could feel their souls thriving on their mutual love. 

~~ 

When Bucky left for war, Steve thought there was no longer any future for him. For some time he’d dared to dream that maybe, maybe their love would be enough to keep him alive for a while. Maybe they could make a life here, Bucky finding some nice gal, starting family, but still loving Steve enough to keep him alive. But war destroyed it all. 

It all changed though, with Dr. Erskine, serum and Peggy, Steve knew he might get to live a life. His only wish was to live that life with Bucky and while going throughout this HYDRA base he prayed to gods to let his lover be alive. He prayed he would come on time, he prayed despite he hadn't done that in years. He run from one cell to another, looking at everything that might be used later, but his first priority was Bucky. 

When he heard that murmur, he knew. His heart longed for that voice and he run straight into his love strapped to this awful metal table. Bucky was alive, but Steve still prayed in his mind, asking gods to let him be okay. 

‘Buck, Bucky’ he got to the table and ripped all straps away. The other man was still whispering numbers, numb, not comprehending what was going on. Steve touched his shoulder and gently shook it. ‘It’s me, sweetheart, it’s Steve.’ 

That seemed to have some effect on Bucky, who opened his eyes and finally looked at Steve. 

‘St...? Steve!’ he smiled and Steve noticed all the bruises on his lover’s face. It hurt like a solid punch to his gut. He tried to get his man off the table, outta this horrible place, but Bucky seemed to be hypnotized on Steve, switching from murmuring his number to an endless litany of Steve’s name. 

‘I thought you were dead’ Steve finally said with tears in his eyes. 

And Bucky looked at him almost funnily and simply said ‘I thought you were smaller’. 

Then they were running, the base going through the destruction process. Their only enemy at the moment seemed to be the time, when they heard endless shots from below them. Then there was Schmidt, tearing his face off and then everything started becoming a blur. He needed to get them out, he had to get Bucky out. Schmidt was running, and they had no way to escape. There was this one narrow metal pad, he prayed again that this would be enough for Bucky, this had to be enough. 

He got his lover to go, he watched praying again, he never prayed that much in his whole life, but he was desperate. Bucky had to survive, Bucky had to make it. When the metal crackled and Buckyjumped, he almost closed his eyes. He couldn’t watch this. But brunette made it to the other side and that was all Steve’d ever wanted. He didn’t care about himself, he knew his life would be complete if he died now. 

‘Get out of here!’ he screamed, hoping that would get Bucky to run, to find an escape. 

‘No! Not without you!’ 

The desperation and tenacity in Bucky’s voice brought another wave of warmth to his chest. He was loved so hard, he was cared for so hard and he had done nothing to deserve it. There was no other option then, he decided to risk it all. He took two steps back and jumped over fire, hoping that maybe this would be enough for them... 

~~ 

‘Bucky! Just grab my hand! No!’ 

He saw his lover fall. He felt his soul ripping in half, his heart beating fast, hurting, bringing tears to his eyes. He could never be enough. He would always fail. He wanted to fall with him and he would do that. 

But first he would make sure the whole HYDRA paid for this. 

~~ 

When he jumped into that plane to fight and finally stop Schmidt, he didn’t plan on coming back from Valkyrie. He knew people loved him now, he felt he was now adored and looked up to, and with the serum he knew, he could live a long happy life, without fear about his health or money, but all that love that had counted for him died with Bucky’s fall. He didn’t care anymore. 

He just wanted to end this war. He fought and he won, but it didn’t feel like winning at all. There was one more thing to do to find his peace. He said his goodbyes and sat by the control board. He put out his compass, Bucky’s picture shining from inside, his lover’s smile looking as vivid as ever. 

‘I’m coming to you sweetheart’ he said and crashed the plane into Arctic’s ice... 

~~ 

But crashing that fucking plane into goddamn ice and seventy years spent frozen under Arctic waters weren't enough to take his life. Wasn’t enough to pay his debt to his country too. They found him, they defrosted him, they put him into the new century and new fights. They never asked about his feelings. They just expected him to be okay. 

But he wasn’t. 

Physically he felt better than ever, he could feel his soul getting more and more elements each day, people loving their national treasure coming back to life. But it wasn’t enough to close that black hole in his heart. He knew nothing would ever be enough to heal that wound because Bucky was the love of his life. He was the one meant for him and no amount of other adorers could make up for that loss. 

He pretended to be okay. He got a new team, he got new reality to find himself into it. He slowly was adjusting to all changes. He might even say he liked it, the freedom of the future, the internet, movies, technical and medical progress... It’s just there was this one thing lacking. He wanted to share it all with Bucky. 

~~ 

When Winter Soldier’s mask fell on the ground and the man looked at Steve, he couldn’t believe his own eyes. 

‘Bucky?’ he said barely a tone or two louder than a whisper, but the soldier heard it anyway. 

‘Who the hell is Bucky?’ Asked confused Winter Soldier and immediately tried to attack him again, but Sam flew and kicked him hard stopping the attack. 

Steve wanted to scream to let him go, to just catch him, to talk to him. But then there were shots, then they were captured and Soldier just disappeared into thin air. 

~~ 

Steve didn’t know what hurt more – the fact that Bucky was alive and he couldn’t feel that or the fact that Bucky didn’t even know him anymore. The fight on the freeway gave him a new reason to keep on going. He had to free Bucky from HYDRA's violence and try to make him remember. He talked to Sam, he talked to Natasha, but they didn’t understand. Yeah, Barnes might have been his lover once, but he wasn’t anymore, they said. 

They didn’t know Steve because if they truly did, they would have known he would do anything, literally anything for Bucky. And now he was ready to tear Earth apart with his bare hands if that would bring his love back. He would come across seas, deserts and fires for Bucky, he would burn this planet alive if that would bring him back. When it came to Bucky, there were no limits for Steve, there were no brakes. 

He would do anything to help people, but deep inside he had this tiny flaw in his perfect image. He was a little bit selfish and this was this one thing that would never change. When it came to BuckyBarnes, Steve Rogers was unstoppable. And the world would soon get to know that. 

~~ 

He was falling and the only thing that he could think of was Bucky’s eyes. He knew he had gotten through Winter Soldier’s program, he could see it in that last second. And now he was falling, his body dropping quickly towards water underneath him, heavy and limp, bleeding and hurting, but that didn’t matter anymore. 

Getting close to the Winter Soldier had let him feel the pain from Bucky’s abused body. He felt Soldier wasn’t loved. He was probably only surviving on those scattered pieces of Steve’s love, he must have been surviving on them for the whole time Steve’d been frozen. Steve wanted to cry, his heart and his soul felt all the abuse his lover had been put through and knew he could never repay for it, he could never make up for all of this. 

But he set him free and that was all that mattered at that moment. 

He hit the water and his lungs filled with fluid. He couldn't breathe, he didn't have the energy to do that. He let himself drop closer and closer to the bottom, slowly losing his consciousness. The last thing he remembered was a glint of silver and then the darkness took over him. 

~~ 

He woke up, but he wasn’t supposed to.

Again. 

This time he wasn't alone and there was no false circus going on around him. Sam was sitting by his bedside, barely awake, eyes closed. 

'On your left...' Steve's murmur woke him and brought a smile to his face. He looked at Sam the silent question about Bucky in his eyes.

'I'm sorry Steve, but we got nothing...'

However, Bucky must have been the one that had saved him, it must have been him. There was no other option, there was nobody else, Steve knew that. That gave him a bit of hope and a new mission to plan.

~~ 

Months and months of chasing and looking throughout all quarters of the Earth and all it took was coming back to Brooklyn. Steve opened the door to his apartment and came in with a quiet sigh. Another unsuccessful journey. He put the keys on the commode and hang his leather jacket. And then froze. 

He wasn’t alone. 

He didn’t know how he missed the quiet sound of another breathe, another heartbeat, but he did. His sight dropped to the person sitting casually on his sofa and at once his chest filled with that warm feeling of joy and pure love. 

Bucky was there, long hair put together into a small bun on the top of his neck, a few days stubble highlighting his perfect jawline, shining eyes set on the Steve, casual, comfy-looking clothes and a small backpack by his legs. 

‘Heya Stevie, been waiting here a bit for you’ he said, voice hoarse like he didn’t use it in a long time, but, god, he was here and he remembered Steve. 

He remembered and he came back to Steve. 

Blonde slowly went over and just dropped to his knees before Bucky. He couldn’t believe this was real. A brunette gently put his hands on the other man's shoulders and that was all it took to make them both cry and melt into each other. Their souls thriving again on their love, just like they had done way back in 1934 and as they would many times in the future. 

It was just a new start for both of them. Steve knew it wouldn’t be easy, they’d both had complicated, difficult and painful histories, they were both lost, but they would find themselves in each other, they both knew they would. They were just meant to. 

~~ 

The history showed that some couples with the greatest and strongest feelings had lived longer than the others with just an average amount of love in their lives. Those couples were examples of truest commitment and purest love. They were the example of what gods truly wanted for us - joyful and long, eternal lives. And in the hundreds of years, there was no greater example than Steve and Bucky Rogers-Barnes, who had fought against all odds and after battles, wars and deaths finally got their everlasting peace together. There was no other couple, who stayed together for hundreds of years, nursing their relationship through countless generations. They got to marry in the new accepting world and they got to start a family. They had their ups and downs, they never forgot about the past, but they never let it interfere with their present and their future. Lastly and most importantly, they both got to hold onto each other every night for the rest of their immortal lives. 

**Author's Note:**

> About the prompt - I kinda lost it, I know it was a bit more complex, but I had decided to write on the stuff I remembered. Thank you for being here, comments and kudos are much appreciated if you liked it :)


End file.
